8. Public or Private School? Our Take on Finding the Best Fit for Your Family

Krystal (00:06):

Welcome back. In today's episode of Nibble & Splash, Tegan and I start talking a little bit about schooling and education and what the right choice is. We delve into a little bit about how we parent, but I guess after listening, we'd really like to know if you'd like us to debunk a little bit further and get a bit deeper. We'd like a bit of a take from our listeners as to do we go those real controversial topics and do we go in, you know, bit harder, bit harder? Dun

Teagan (00:35):

Dun dun. The school choice conundrum, because

Krystal (00:38):

The awesome thing about mine and Teagan's relationship is we can disagree on something to like the absolute like edge of the earth and still be okay and sit at the same table. But we are both very passionate and opinionative opinionative people.

Teagan (00:53):

Opinionated,

Krystal (00:54):

Opinionated people.

Teagan (00:56):

I went to a public school. Yeah,

Krystal (00:57):

That's my private education. Again, shining through. But you'll see that in this episode. English was not my thing. <laugh>. Oh. Um, so yeah, have a listen. Let us know what you think, but what else did we touch on?

Teagan (01:09):

Well, I just think what you need to take away from this is there is no wrong or right decision and it comes down to the child and the parents. So yeah, take a little listen and see what you think.

Krystal (01:24):

My son is going into year three next year, and the biggest topic of him and his friendship groups conversation at the moment is what high school they're going to, which then ripples onto the biggest conversation that we've got in our household. Because high school is not year seven anymore. It's year six, so,

Teagan (01:44):

No, not year eight anymore. Year seven.

Krystal (01:48):

Yeah.

Teagan (01:49):

No, you start in year seven. Yes. Yeah. So year six is your last year of primary school. Yes.

Krystal (01:55):

Which is just so mind blowing to

Teagan (01:56):

Me. I know, I know.

Krystal (01:57):

Well, the whole thing's mind blowing to me because I never had that primary school, high school. I went to a school where it was like birth to, they even did year 13. Um, and then we had like a extra learning thing back when I was at school. So we had like junior schools, middle schools, senior schools, all that sort of stuff. So the primary school to high school thing is new to me as like a person and a parent. And it's, it's controversial. <laugh>

Teagan (02:26):

It, this, it is so hard to make the call. Like my schooling. I went from a primary school down in teacher gully. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And then my parents broke up and then we went out and lived in the country and my parents couldn't afford a private school. So I went to a local public school. And because I lived 10 kilometers out of the town, I used to have to get driven to the end of our road, catch a little mini bus to the town, and then take it back again. And like that happened for my whole schooling school

Krystal (02:57):

Life.

Teagan (02:57):

Wow. Yeah. So like, I had like over an hour and a half of travel every morning and night to get to school. And like, obviously I wouldn't change it for the world now, but Yeah. My biggest thing was when I was in year seven, if I wasn't going to the same high school as my friends, I would like, would've rather die.

Krystal (03:13):

Good. So my child thinks I'm gonna kill him. <laugh>.

Teagan (03:17):

Yeah. And same with mine. We're having this problem now as well. Aw. Cruz is going into year five next year. Yes.

Krystal (03:24):

What

Teagan (03:24):

The heck? Aw. So, and he said, I better be going to the same school as X and Y and Z. And I'm like, well, guess what? You might not be but Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. You need to realize that, you know, they're not that. You're still gonna see them out of school. Yeah. And you're still gonna play sports with them and you're still gonna do this. And you know, like you think about our friendship circles now compared to what it is at school, it's totally different. I must say I still have my bestie from year six. So we went through all of school together and I treasure that. Yes. So I see where they're coming from and as much as we could just fo like fob that off and say, you know, it doesn't really matter. Like in my case it actually did matter. It did matter. Yeah. It shaped who I was. I went through the ups and downs. I turned into a real bad. <laugh>. Like, I was not good at school at all. Yeah. I got suspended in UA as a girl. I got caught up with a lot of the wrong people. I left school in year 11 to be a great picker. But look at me now. Look at you

Krystal (04:20):

Now.

Teagan (04:20):

Yeah. <laugh>, look at me now. It built resilience.

Krystal (04:23):

Yes. Definitely.

Teagan (04:24):

You know, I got teased a lot at school and I think that's why I rebelled as well. Like I was a lot, I was really big and I got put in that category as really big and I think I had to like act cool in other ways. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Um, but I always had my girls by my side and like, we had a lot of fun and you know, we had a lot of the same interests. And still now, like all of us that we're in that group, we've all started businesses. Yeah. And multimillion dollar businesses. So it's just,

Krystal (04:52):

It's Yeah. My, my sister's the same. She still hangs out with the same group of girls that she started school with. They all came along at different points. Whereas I'm probably like the polar opposite. I, all my core friendships came from, uh, like out of school activities. So, you know, sports or work or you know, through family, friends and Yeah. But I, I love school. I was a part of every

Teagan (05:17):

You just thrive on it.

Krystal (05:18):

Yep. You know, house captain, student leader, prefect. I just, except great

Teagan (05:25):

Every race sports day while I was out the back probably having a beer behind the tree. Yeah. Probably

Krystal (05:30):

<laugh> now I live vicariously through my children's sports

Teagan (05:33):

Day. <laugh>, you're still in the parent run though, aren't you?

Krystal (05:36):

Yeah. And I guess it's funny, like we're both sitting at this table right now talking about this and our kids and the same, you know, we're trying to make those same decisions now, but I think a lot of it just, you just have to go with your gut.

Teagan (05:48):

You have to go with your gut to go with your gut. And there is no right decision is what I've worked out. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> because I know what my parents did and I know that I gave them a hell of a time. Yeah. Like I was not good at school and they would've been so worried. And Jacob, my eldest son, he now is 17, he's got his license, he's doing an apprenticeship with us. And I think I talked about this in one of our other episodes of, I was so worried about him for a while and Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. I was so lucky that by the time he went to high school, I was in the position to be able to afford a private high school. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. But it was the worst thing for him. He rebelled. He could never find his groove. He didn't find a friendship group.

Teagan (06:27):

He was vaping in the toilets. He was literally trying to get expelled. Yeah. Like, because he just hated it so much. He hated the uniform. He hated this, he hated that. And I was just like, just suck it up mate. Like, just deal with it. This is, this teaches you how to have like, you can't just go to work and just wear whatever the you want. Like this is teaching you, there's rules, there's rules and regulations in life. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. But of course we're growing up in a world of entrepreneurs where they're all making their own way.

Krystal (06:51):

Everyone has their own rules. Yep. Yep.

Teagan (06:53):

And Jacob was gonna start a business selling chocolate bars on the internet. And you know what? We probably could have bloody made it, but I told him no <laugh>.

Krystal (07:00):

Yes.

Teagan (07:01):

So anyway, we ended up changing to a public school. Turns out he did the exact same thing. So it wasn't the private public thing. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. It was just him at school. Yeah. And now he's left school. He is literally my perfect child. Yeah. Different person. And it's because of his circle. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. So his circles changed from who he was driven to, to hang out with at school, to people that are working, wanting to save money, wanting to be fit. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And he's looking at that and getting inspired by that. And it's just, it's getting drilled into him everywhere he looks. And there's mums in the kitchen that are working and they're like, oh, you, your son is so beautiful. He is so perfect. He's got good manners. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And, you know, he's still got a lot to work on with his work ethic. <laugh>, but that comes with experience. Yeah. But as a person and as knowing what's right and wrong and just like, I made it out the other side and I know that that was the best decision ever. Yeah. So, and

Krystal (07:50):

He tried both school systems and

Teagan (07:52):

He tried both school systems and told me like he promised me when we went public, like that's where he wanted to be. And he was gonna try really hard and he was gonna get good grades. Mm-Hmm. And he wasn't gonna mess around. And then next thing the school's ringing me saying Jacob's left the school to go to Hungry Jacks and down.

Krystal (08:05):

Yeah. It was almost worse than

Teagan (08:07):

When he was at the work at school. It, I'm like, I do not like, I I can't be let down again. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> with, he's promising all these promises and just not, you know. And I'm like, you know you're gonna work. Yeah. You are literally gonna work. You're not gonna be not gonna say any names. You're not, you're not gonna leave school and just sit around and you're not gonna stay at school and just waste people's time. Yeah. Yeah. You are going to get your in the workforce. Go either find an apprenticeship close by where I don't have to drive you every day 'cause I got to do. Or you can work for me. And if that's not what you wanna do when you finish your apprenticeship, you've got summing up your sleeve, go fly your wings. Yeah. Go fly your wings.

Krystal (08:40):

Go go spread your wings and fly. Spread your wings and fly. Thank you. I've got

Teagan (08:45):

The best sayings ever. Don't I? <laugh>.

Krystal (08:47):

But it, it is factors like that, you know, like you thought you were in the right financial position to be able to give your kids the exposure to the private school system because it is super costly. And especially in today's economy. Education is expensive. Childcare is expensive. And I was having this chat the other day with a few girls back when both my children were at childcare. They are quite close together. So Yeah.

Teagan (09:10):

Like one year, like what the heck?

Krystal (09:12):

Yeah. So they, you know, it was, there was none of this year's second kid was a 50% subsidy or whatever, or I don't, I don't even really know what the childcare subsidy is now, but I remember struggling to afford my mortgage and childcare because my childcare was more than my mortgage, which don't get me wrong, I valued the childcare so much. Like the hours, the food, the care that they got. I struck gold with my childcare center. I felt, um, so sending my kids to a private school was a no brainer because I was gonna be saving thousands. Like in my head, I was saving money. Yeah. Why wouldn't I send them to that kind of school? But now a lot of parents, it would have flipped. Now private schooling coming out of childcare is probably twice as much and it's hard out there and you don't know if you're making the right decision.

Krystal (10:01):

We always thought before the kids, before we were paying for childcare and before we had kids, we always thought, Nope, we'll go public for primary and then we'll like spend the big bucks, you know, in those teenage years. But then you have kids and you've gotta make the decisions and what you think you're gonna do versus what you actually do. So many different factors. Like you just brought up the bus. My kids have just started catching the bus home. Mm. You need to pick a school that will compliment your life, not make it harder because you know, when the kid's coming home from school to crabby parents or rushing or, you know, there's so many different factors when choosing the school. And it's not just, do I go public or private? Do I go with their friends without their friends? Mm. It's just never

Teagan (10:43):

A day. Yeah. My kids are at a, um, private school at the moment and it was good because of the childcare. Like, same with yours. The childcare goes from childcare to ELC to primary. And they've created some amazing friends. There's such a good community. And jazzy girl, she was in childcare at six weeks. As soon as they were allowed to take her, I was knocking on their door. Yeah. <laugh> because I had to do. I was working. They, yeah. She is still the youngest child to ever attend that childcare. Childcare, <laugh>. And I knew the people that worked there and I felt happy and I felt safe and they looked after them so well. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And you know, like that money that I spent on childcare, it was needed not only for my mental health because I could not work and have a baby at the same time for a lot of the things.

Teagan (11:25):

Um, but because that was in the stage where I was growing my business, and for that to happen, I had to just make the choice. But yeah. With high schools, knowing what I know now, what, what I've done with Jacob, my brain says that I want to send them to the school that I want. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> because of all the opportunities and because of the easiness and all of that kind of stuff. But my heart wants them to go where they want to go. Yeah. 'cause I feel like that's what I wanted to do and it worked out for me. And Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Anyway, that's a decision my husband and I have to make. And then there's another spanner in the works that he wants to send and where he went as a child, which is Yeah. <laugh> the total opposite way. Opposite way. Um, and double the price and everything like that.

Teagan (12:10):

And what I think like money aside and everything like that, it comes down to the student. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Because I have plenty of friends that have gone public and were perfect all the way through school. Yep. And it also comes down to parenting as well, you know? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Like if you are going to let your kids get away with things and let them just sit on their phones until 2:00 AM in the morning and Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, let them hang out with people that you know are wrong for them and not nip it in the bud before it gets too late where they're gonna run away or Yeah. You know, react and all of these things. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, you know, like you can nurture and adapt them to whatever kind of you want in a sense until it gets to a certain point. Yeah. And then it's like they're on their own. And I'd say that certain point is around the 13, 14 years old Yeah. Is when they, it's like they either like, respect what you say, appreciate what you say, or it's like, f you mum, I'm doing this. I

Krystal (13:06):

Think it's even getting younger these days.

Teagan (13:08):

I know it's almost becoming prete. It's, and social media. And like Jacob still says to me, oh, but my friends are allowed to do this and their parents pay for this for them. And I'm just like, well, guess what? I'm not. Yeah. It's like, don't.

Krystal (13:20):

That's great. Are they your parents?

Teagan (13:22):

Yeah. It's like, or, oh, I can't even remember the other day what crew said, oh, here's bedtime. I'm like, you need to be in bed by eight o'clock. That's what we do. Because you guys need sleep. 'cause you like your dad. Yeah. You can't handle no sleep. I can but you can't. You can't. And he is like, everyone else goes to bed at eight 30, so this is not fair, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, mate, tell someone who cares. Yeah,

Krystal (13:40):

Exactly. So

Teagan (13:42):

We are very strict with bedtimes. We're very strict with devices. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And I don't know, I just feel like I've made a lot of mistakes with Jacob in that area. And luckily for me, he's come around. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Um, but yeah, it's just, it's hard. Parenting is hard. It's hard. Yeah. And all of the outside noise. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> is ultimately what can change them. Oh,

Krystal (14:05):

Well, even covid, how I know so many people that don't wanna word <laugh>. That's a different episode. <laugh>. Um, so many people post covid have ripped their kids out of schooling and went homeschooling. Uh, Tyler started school post covid was, I

Teagan (14:23):

Take my hat off to them, but, I couldn't do that. I can't even read a book. No.

Krystal (14:27):

<laugh>. Yeah. I'm definitely, I

Teagan (14:30):

You went back to work because you loved it. I I

Krystal (14:32):

Did I

Teagan (14:33):

Your childcare costs more than what you were earning, mate. I did. So don't tell me you didn't need to work.

Krystal (14:36):

No, I, I needed to work. I'm just a worker. I'm a

Teagan (14:40):

And a better mom. Like when you go home, like when you go, sorry, I fully butted in, but like when you go home after a big day at work and you just like miss your babies, like that is the best feeling. Yeah.

Krystal (14:50):

Like it's worth the juggle

Teagan (14:52):

And the struggle. Unless you're a teacher, of course. I don't know how they bloody do it. Teacher and childcare workers, the most underpaid people in the universe. A hundred percent agree. Like honestly, I think take my hat off to them and they can shape a child's life as well. Yeah. Like I know so many teachers in my life and Jacob's life that tried to help and everything like that. And you remember everything they say. Yeah. Yep. It's such an important job.

Krystal (15:13):

Yeah. But you don't have to stick with the school either if it's not working for you. Yeah. You know, we actually had our kids enrolled at a completely different school to what they're going to now because when they finally hit that school age era, and I'm talking, it was only like four months before that was supposed to start school that I flipped and changed. And it was just that feeling in my gut as a parent. Like, you know, you, you just know

Teagan (15:38):

And that worked out well for you anyway. Yeah.

Krystal (15:40):

I have three other siblings. We all were brought up through, you know, the same school. It was a private school. Mom and dad worked their butts off. We didn't have, you know, a huge amount of things growing up, but the one thing we always had is like a roof over our head, food on our table, clothes on our back. We never missed like a sport practice. We never missed school. We were always, you know, happy and healthy.

Teagan (16:02):

They worked so you could go private. Yeah.

Krystal (16:04):

And all me and my siblings never went to university.

Teagan (16:09):

My siblings and I, my

Krystal (16:10):

Siblings and I, there we go. There's that private school education shining through

Teagan (16:14):

<laugh>. That was my dad

Krystal (16:16):

Just

Teagan (16:16):

Coming through then.

Krystal (16:18):

Yeah. My siblings and I, none of us went on to have that. Uh, we all had a higher education than school. We all studied certain things off school, but none of us did it from a university stance. Yeah. And I think I remember dad specifically saying, especially like hospitality, imagine your parents just spending like in excess of probably 50, $60,000 on my schooling to say, well actually I'm just gonna go do some hospitality stuff and a bit of business stuff and just gonna serve

Teagan (16:47):

Some pies.

Krystal (16:48):

<laugh>, I really wanna own my own. Like coffee shop. Dad's face was like, are you trying to tell me you're not gonna be a dog dog <laugh>?

Teagan (16:54):

And you could have been too. But

Krystal (16:55):

He supported it. And every skill that I learned in school through like, you know, just your values, your respect, your leadership, um, time management organization, those were my takeaways from school. It wasn't my grades. But there are pathways in there if, you know, I think you need to understand your child and what they wanna do and where they wanna go and support it. And then picking the right school will come so much easier.

Teagan (17:23):

Exactly. And you know, another thing that's a big factor now as well is learning disabilities. Oh yes. Huge. Like I know Jazzy iss in the process of getting assessed and if I hadn't been through what I've been through with Jacob and knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel, I would be spiraling right now with her learning. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. So, you know, we are getting her tested for a DHD and dyslexia and I don't know if she's got anything else, but we'll soon find out. But we've got a tutor for an hour on Tuesdays as well. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. I am not amazing with doing out of

Krystal (17:56):

Homework.

Teagan (17:56):

Yeah. Let's call it homework. Yeah. <laugh>. I'm just not that mom. Yeah. And I really wish I was Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. But it doesn't get priority in our house, which is really, really bad. I know. And I always say I'm gonna do it and then, but Jazzy is just her attention span. Like she literally has her legs up on the walls or like on the roof or on my face when I'm trying to read one page of her book or she is. Yeah. But, um, you know, like she's a a private school now, but we still have to get tutoring and we're still gonna have to get help and, but it's just good to be able to get the extra ni like help that they need. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And it's good to be proactive about it as well. Yeah. I remember when she was in ELC and they were telling me, I'm like, there is nothing wrong with her.

Teagan (18:34):

She's fine. Like, yeah. You know, and I kind of wish I did start the process earlier now because my sister picked her up from school yesterday and they've got like these sheets stuck on the wall where the parents can read. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And it was in the holidays I did this and everyone's is legible except for Jazzy. Yeah. Like you cannot make like sense of what it says. And I just, my heart dropped. I was just like, oh my gosh. Like that is so sad. But you know what, we're in the process of getting her the help and she's not behind in any other way except for writing things on paper. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> and reading. Like, she can do all of her letters and her sounds and stuff like that, but it's just, yeah. Everyone's different. Like there's just, there's no one fits all. Every student is different.

Teagan (19:17):

Yeah. Every learning disability is different. How they cope with things is different. Like I know she's gonna be something amazing. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> like her vibe is like I love it. Yeah. <laugh>. But it's like, yeah, this, this whole podcast, like this episode was really about letting people know that if you're worried about schooling or if you're worried about the direction your kids are going in or if you're worried about anything like that, just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and just like you said, follow your gut. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> be proactive and just give them love and teach them good values. Yeah. And I feel like if they've got that and they know that someone loves them and they know what the right and wrong thing is, like good will follow.

Krystal (19:54):

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. My, well even like you said before, my kids are that close together that they're literally boom, boom, year one, year two, year two year three. Think the school that they're at right now that we give them different teachers so there's no comparison going on because they are two different kids. I pretty sure, yeah. We spoke about this a couple of episodes ago, but Tyler arguments to get homework done and I've just been at work all day. I don't wanna sit there, you know, with him screaming and crying at me and that's, he's gonna go to bed an hour after this. I don't wanna do that. You know, if we do anything now, we might read in bed or if we actually have on page homework to do where we've actually gotta sit down, write some stuff out, I'll try to do it in the morning because I'm the same. I'm not huge on homework. I've never really been that parent that sits down and spends hours and you've gotta be able to do this and do that. But then I've got Abby who gets home from school and wants to do her homework.

Teagan (20:53):

Yeah. She, man, I have her own my house and she just wants to read labels and. She

Krystal (20:57):

Wants to just read anything and everything like,

Teagan (21:00):

And do you know what, sorry. I also think instead of homework, get your kids out doing something active. Yeah. I think that would help them more than doing homework. Mm-Hmm. Don't walk

Krystal (21:11):

And read all the street signs.

Teagan (21:11):

Like do some like basketball. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> like you did around the world the other day. Like get them active. Yeah. Like I think that like a bit of vitamin D and a bit of like heart rate lifted is gonna do more and what's sitting there arguing with them about writing down 10 words. Like I'm a big believer that they should learn everything at school. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> Jazzy iss a bit different. She's gonna lead a little bit of extra help, but Cruz and Jacob, they've done fine and I've never done homework with them. <laugh> <laugh>. But you know what I mean, it's just where that family that does activities and goes on holidays Yeah. Rather than sits there. Street street smart.

Krystal (21:46):

Yeah. Or a street start, street

Teagan (21:48):

Smart family. And I'm very, very, very strict with devices. Yeah. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> like getting to the point where like there's no YouTube allowed in my house. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And I've seen the difference it makes. Oh, it's huge. And same with sugar too, which is a whole nother episode because we are gonna talk about food,

Krystal (22:04):

Some swaps,

Teagan (22:06):

Swaps, all that sort of stuff. Yeah. And meal prepping and how to save money. But anyway, I think that's enough of that today. So I'd love to hear what you guys think in the comments and Yeah. I hope this helped somebody out there just not stress that little bit about something that you just gotta go with it.

Krystal (22:21):

If you're listening to this and you've even questioned what kid, what school you're gonna send your kids to, you've questioned what they wanna do. You ask them, you care. Like that's good parenting.

Teagan (22:32):

Yeah. And also if you're worried, if they're not gonna go to university, if you're worried because they're getting bad grades, that they're not gonna amount to anything and you're just stressing and stressing and stressing. Like just remember that if they're good people, like tell them to find their passion. Yes. Like what, what's your passion? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> like help. You know, like just start doing something that you like. Yeah. And getting a little job in something you like and then you never know what's next. Anyway. Groovy. Like a drive-in movie. Bye. Thank you so much for listening everybody. If you like what you heard, please head down below, subscribe, check the show notes, follow us on socials. We'd love to hear from you and can't wait for next time.

Krystal (23:20):

She's the baddest of the all. Ooh, that's all I know.